Confused Confucius spurned the monastic mountaintop for the world of work, moral conundrums, and mobile devices.
A world traveller and channel hopper for more than five decades the Confused One managed to squeeze open a tiny portal to the wisdom of the ages and most of what trickled through got stuck.
Fortunately, a few pearls made it and appear here as maxims for the modern world — incongruous idioms that might make you smile with amusement or grimace with confusion.
Sayings on topics from relationships to retail vying for space with the obligatory observations on human nature.
Sample a few here or, better still, purchase a volume and get a pearl at your bedside.
Either way, laugh and cry in equal measure.